Your Reservation Has Been Cancelled
What your favorite actors could be doing instead of starring in the next season of "The White Lotus."
“CAST LUCY HALE IN SEASON FOUR OF THE WHITE LOTUS, YOU COWARDS!” - Someone virtually shouting in the darkest corners of the internet
Okay, there is no real record of this, but the possibility exists.
Mike White is on the next season of Survivor, because being a writer and director isn’t enough, I guess? I have never watched Survivor, but I don’t need to press play to know that I would not last a single day. Unfortunately, I am someone who needs to shower daily. I would like to be on Big Brother, though!
Despite Mike being away following his dreams (seems more like a nightmare, but I digress), breadcrumbs about the upcoming season of The White Lotus have still started to drop. Casey Bloys, the CEO of HBO and Max (the Warner Bros. Discovery site still says Max, so I don’t know what’s going on over there), recently told The Hollywood Reporter that the destination will be “Generally Europe” and that he has an “idea of what the season is going to be.”
Although there are minimal details, I can already hear the rumblings of “[insert favorite actor] should be in this next season” reverberating through the internet walls. The collages of performers will soon be deployed at full speed. Every underused actor from 1995, former CW mainstay who deserved more, and Meryl Streep’s nepo children, who most people don’t seem to know about, will grace these tweets, X post (if that’s what they’re called), and even notes on here. I dare you to dream bigger!
I have fallen victim to this phenomenon as well. I even posted this on Notes mere months ago. My tune has changed though. Jennifer Tilly deserves better, and she’s essentially already playing this role of “Very Rich and Funny Woman” on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills anyway. Give her an Emmy for that.
I was also leading Meghann Fahy’s Emmy nomination campaign for Season 2. I have been on the front lines. Something shifted with the latest season though. I don’t need to rehash how much I disliked it, as it’s been well documented, but it has become the favorite show of people who watch five shows a year (none of them good).
Maybe it’s the exhaustion of seeing every Emmy category overtaken by a singular show.
talked about this more in their most recent newsletter. I agree with them that Aimee Lou Wood is innocent. However, this season of the show in particular did not need to occupy so much damn space. In its defense, The White Lotus is certainly not the only instance of this and hypocritically, if it was a season of a show that I liked, I might be waving the “it’s justified” flag. It’s at half-mast though.I know the show is a great renaissance for actors today. I just wish the material consistently matched their talent. Parker Posey managed to infuse Victoria with enough of her off-kilter humor to make it somewhat worth watching the season, but I would much rather have her on a show that uses her talents full throttle. Where are the good storylines? We are in a bad story epidemic! Look at the book of most Broadway musicals these days. That’s a conversation for another article.
What your favorite actors could be doing instead of checking into the next season of The White Lotus
This was inspired by an idea that
came up with during one of our conversations about another highly contentious show (🤭), and she so graciously let me build off of it. I can’t wait to read what she writes for This Might Be Cringe.There are multiple shenanigans, charades, escapades, opportunities, and adventures that your favorite actors could be chasing instead of starring in season four.
Contestant #77, let’s play a round of “What my favorite actors could be doing instead of starring in the next season of The White Lotus." Come up and spin the wheel to win a grand prize of nothavingtosufferthroughanotherseason!
Laura Dern, do not pick up Mike’s call again. She could be starring with her pal Nicole Kidman in one of her 60 other miniseries. One of them is inevitably going to be good, right? As for the rest…I love how she champions directors ♥️! I would rather the next season of Big Little Lies finally come to fruition, and I don’t even really want that! Go film it!
Speaking of talented Nicoles, Nicole Beharie could be using her Apple TV connections to get her own show, which would lead to her inevitable Emmy win, which is overdue. I love that The Morning Show (another badly built show) got her an Emmy nomination for tearing a racist white lady to shreds, but she deserves more.
Hannah Waddingham could be gearing up to star as one of the leads in the West End transfer of Death Becomes Her. My friend Grace said she would be a great Broadway replacement, and I would 100% settle for that, but it would be fun to see her do it on her home turf. She’s already busy with Ted Lasso, anyway, so there’s no time to whisk her away to whatever destination White Mike lands on.
Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande could be mounting the Broadway revival of Aida that they keep mentioning, or giving us another revival of The Last Five Years (but gay) to make up for whatever Nick Jonas put audience members through.
Regina King has better things to attend to. The Oscar winner could be working on directing a new series or movie, because I would love to see more of her incredible work in front of the camera. She could be on set for another season of Watchmen instead, or reprising her role for Miss Congeniality 3. I would watch both!
Hugh Jackman could finance a second season of Bunheads for Sutton Foster to reprise her role in. He can guest star in it too, if he must. Just please don’t let him sing. No, I will never shut up about this show even though it’s been twelve years.
Da’Vine Joy Randolph could be putting a stop to more seasons of Only Murders in the Buildings. The tenants just want to live. Let them rest, please! Someone should be leading the campaign for the second season of High Fidelity, where she was supposed to be the star! We were ROBBED!
Jessica Chastain and Selena Gomez could team up to launch an investigation as to what is happening with The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo film adaptation (which is apparently “in production”), since both of their names have been “rumored” for roles for the last few years.
Ayo Edebiri could be collaborating on a show that would definitely be better. Just watch episode 4 of the latest season of The Bear for proof. Nobody call her agent to be on a season of The White Lotus either. Block the number, now!
Sarah Michelle Gellar, who is experiencing somewhat of a career rebirth, could become a recurring guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race. She was great in her recent episode. Just show up to set every week and prolong the process. She’s busy giving us a Buffy reboot anyway, so do not spam her email! It will go to trash.
If nothing else, everyone could go on Survivor too.
Some of these actors might never do the show anyway, but who knows. The popularity seems to draw in unexpected stars, even when I don’t quite see the vision. Will I still watch season four of The White Lotus? Don’t call me out if I do! It will be for research.
If you could spin the “What my favorite actors could be doing instead of starring in the next season of The White Lotus" Wheel, where might you land?
Mikey Madison please stay FAR FAR AWAY from Mike White
LOL - love this. The moral of the story is to just block Mike’s number for everyone, right?